Every once in a while the universe hits you over the head and you need to listen.
I got out of a long relationship last year. It was a good one, and one I was sorry to see end, but it happens. Sometimes two people, no matter the good intentions or love between them can't make it work.
Of course the question is always why?
I never like knowing that answer because invariably it means there is something about me that needs to change, or that has grown in a direction I wasn't prepared for. So, since the answer normally means either a change I need to make, or its a change already happening, it ultimately means change ... and you know how well I handle the C word.
The end of one relationship also means I get to start new ones. I have been thinking a little lately about what it means. What am I looking for? Am I ready?
Some people date older, some younger, some are long distance, some of you have met in game or on the Internet, but no matter what, it all boils down to what you are looking for.
And then there are first moves. The dates, the conversations, the learning about each other and seeing what fits and what doesn't. Painful when you realize they don't no matter how much you want them to. Exciting when you find they match in a way that makes you hopeful about a future.
A friend of a friend had a set of questions that got me thinking about what I need today. See what they make you think about.
- When the world has come crashing down on your shoulders and all you need is a sympathetic ear and a hug, is it him/her that is there holding you, telling you that everything is going to be ok? Is it him/her that will listen and hold your hand and gently wipe away the tears that may fall? Is it him/her?
- When something really exciting happens to you and you're just bursting to tell, who's the first person to pop in your head? Is it him/her? Is he/she excited just as much as you are? Is he/she smiling with you, telling you how great it is and how happy he/she is for you? Is it him/her?
- When there's trouble and you need someone to stand beside you, is he/she there? Is he/she standing by you side by side, holding your hand, facing what may come together as a team? United we stand, together we can do it, is it him/her standing beside you?
- When you look into the future, and think about what may come 5 years from now, is he/she there? Visualize the kitchen, is he/she there, helping you make supper? Visualize the living room...is he/she there, saving you seat on the sofa? Visualize the bedroom, is he/she there, waiting for you to come to bed? Is he/she there at all?
- Is it him/her that you can depend on to be there step by step to make a family? Is he/she the father/mother that you always envisioned your children having? Is he/she the husband/wife that you always imagined yourself having?
I think these are questions you can ask at any stage of a relationship. Some things you just know. You meet for the first time and its obvious. Sometimes we make excuses, we find reasons to justify. Is it because we are scared to be alone? Do we not think we are worth more than what we have in front of us right now?
Sometimes, from the first conversation things just click... but then they don't... or maybe they do.
Hey, I don't have answers, I just have questions.
(Dedicated to a friend who doesn't like the answers *hugs*)